A few weeks ago I was having a quarter-life crisis about my future career, so naturally I called my mother. I frantically asked her whether I should plan on eventually becoming a full time artist so that I can travel as much as I would like to.
You know, life is too short to not do the things that bring you the most joy, and all that millennial jazz.
She said no JQ; you would go crazy. You just need to find a job where you are sent to the craziest corners of this planet, and then you will be satisfied. I told her she was right and that I would like to take the Foreign Service Exam one day, but ultimately, I am worried about being sent to a war-torn failed nation because I could die. She said Jacqueline, don't sweat the small stuff.
And she's right.
I know this is not a very common thing to hear from most mothers. In fact, some people may be a little thrown off by this answer. But that's my mom, and she's 100% why I am the way I am. Because she always taught me not to let worrying about ALL the potential consequences that may or may not happen influence your choices.
In fact, this attitude of choosing not to let things that are out of my control stress me out is probably my most defining characteristic. When bad things happen to me that I have no control over, I try to let them roll right off my back. It means that I am almost always in a good mood, but it's also definitely very annoying to my friends. It means that I am almost never sympathetic to people who complain to me about how hot it is outside or how long their Metro ride took or how their flight got delayed. My answer is almost always "stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have a great life." Even if those people are my best friends.
Because guys, this Earth is too beautiful and there are too many incredible things about life to let those things get you down. Maybe because it's so hot outside, you're sweating out more of those toxins your body needed to get rid of. Maybe because the Metro took so long, you were able to read more of the book you were meaning to get to. Maybe because your flight got delayed, you just happened to (strategically) sit next to a hot boy/girl at your gate who also needed to vent about Offset from Migos getting arrested RIGHT after Cardi B had her baby. And then you ended up falling in love and getting married idk.
Like yesterday, I tripped and tumbled down a very tall escalator. It hurt so badly I wanted to smack the person closest to me, and I'm pretty sure the entire city of D.C. saw it. But as soon as I was done being in extreme pain and trying not to bleed on all of the people trying to help me, I just laughed. Everyone say it with me- LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE EMBARASSED OR ANGRY ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE OUT OF YOUR CONTROL.
This is not to say that there aren't of course extreme hardships people face that are worth every single tear. True tragedies such as the loss of a loved one that cause unspeakable pain. Of course, those are entirely different situations.
I'm just saying maybe rethink that initial anger you feel when your Netflix won't load as fast as you want it to. That might do ya some good.
I also realize this may seem like I have faced no true adversities in my life. In reality, I have experienced my fair share of hardships.
It was actually being forced to attend Al-Anon meetings with my addict father that reinforced this ideology my mother raised me with. My dad has struggled with mental illness and substance abuse for my entire life. He's not a recovering or even functioning alcoholic at this point- he's a really, really bad alcoholic.
And anyone who is close to an alcoholic, which I feel like is almost everyone these days, knows by heart the mantra of AA that begins with "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." That's incredible advice for all humans, not just recovering alcoholics. How about we all just be a little more ~serene~.
Next time your train is late or you get really bad service at a restaurant or you fall down an escalator in front of maybe 700 people, just take a deep breath and try to let it go. Don't' sweat the small stuff. I promise, it feels good. And bye forever to this mindset of feeling sorry for ourselves about things that 1. aren't even that bad and 2. you can't even do anything about. Just stop.
JQ